Mistakes and Regrets..

i've made the worst mistake in my life for turning over you.
i tot that i dun love u no more but now i realise that i've let go
someone who love me the most...i just wanna let u noe that im sorry.
i noe u won't forgive me anymore..
i guess this is my punishment..
i should be a loner for my entire life..
im just a pathetic person,
i thought i will b better if i leave u since i dun love u anymore..
but now i noe..
a mistake that i would not forgive myself..
im not happy eventho it had passed a few days already..
even goin clubbing and hang out with frens..
it's like something is missing..
someone in the phone...
Anderson...
i always thought u r not good enough for me..
now to think back..
im the one who is not good enough for u..
im just a pathetic person...
since i was young..
i ve loved someone who i shouldnt love..
i ve always got hurt cuz i ve rejected..
now..
eventho ive rejected u.
im the one who got hurt the most i think..
is this fair?
wad the hell is goin on?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i guess im meant to be heartbroken..

Focus on....[?]

once again im pretty sad but still glad..
Y?
I can't contact my hubby as frequently as
i want to already because his daddy wants him
really focus on his study since his in his final year.
Daddy doesn't want him to be distracted by our
relationship, sigh. I'm glad too as we are still
together despite the distraction and stuffs. The
deal is we are better not contacting each other
too frequently as his parent are able to find out
who he contact by going to the celcom centre.
OK..lor..~
Since he will be back around january, i'll be able
to be with him during my practical time, huhu!!
I want to bring him back to miri during CNY too, hopefully.
Can't for to see him, lust for his cuddle hehe.
Love you hubby, :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Feelings~

Ayg, bb rindu kamu la..
Bb rasa nak gi kat sisi ayg secepat yang mungkin
dan berada kat sia selama yang mungkin.
Bb rasa lonely jak kalau tak msg or call ayg..
Lately kita jarang contact la..
Ayg buat bb makin rindu ayg lar..
Tapi~
Bb tau ayg busy kebelakangan ni..
so bb faham la..
love you so much hubby..
I do not want to tie you up
but i want to be just at your side..
Your presence makes me warm n calm just like my pillow..
I know you will walk the road with me till the longest time
possible and that's me love you so much..
I'm realieve to have you in my life.
You fill me up with love bugs..hehe
I'm not sad anymore
because i'm fill with joy that you gave me.
I'm happy when the day start because
i noe i'm one day closer to seeing you
and being by your side.
You are all i have and all i need.
I've asked myself last night,
what is the thing that i don't like about you?
and the answer is..
Nothing..i just can't think of anything..
Don't get too proud ok?hehe :p
You are just the missing piece in my puzzle.
I hope to be yours too.
I know everyone have flaws, but
i hope you will polish and bare it with me
while i do so when you one..
love you so much..
Don't stress ok, hubby?
Mun kau perlu luahkan perasanan kau..
Bb akan bersedia pada setia masa..
Bb akan jadi no.1 pendengar ayg yang tidak jelak..
loveeee youuu
Good nite, hubby..

Belated Emotions.Endless Love

I feel so bless to have a hubby like u,Mic.
All u did for me, All the love you gave me.
It is worth the wait for those long single years.
I never feel my life so full before you come into my life.
You make me complete with your passionate love and care.
I do not know how to describe my love to you.
But what i know is, i feel wonderful now with you in my life.
I hope to be with you forever till eternity.
I will try my very best to make your life as complete as possible.
I love you,hubby.
I really do.
I really miss you, hubby.
I miss you most during bedtime,:p.
I crave for your hugs and kisses
And
I wanna do the same to you too.
I wish to bring you to meet my family one day in hope that they will accept us.
I hope that your parents can accept me too.
I love you,hubby.
I know i sound immature most of the time
That is because i want to "Manja" with you.
I want to take care of you.
I will strive with you through smooth and rough edges.
I want to be your extra hand in life.
Which when you're down,
I will cradle you in my love.
I will cheer you up and pick you up.
You're my one and only for eternity.
I love you hubby.
Muacks~
--<@**BB love Ayg for eternity**@>---

BadBad me. EMO

I did a really bad thing today to my hubby and i really feel bad about it. I feel bad cuz i didn't trust him yet go and trust some people who is just kidding with me. Stab3. I feel so sad today,hubby. I promise i'll have more faith in you from now onwards and hopefully you won't be mad at me. Muacks. Love u, hubby.

I will be by Avril Lavigne
**

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye
And now I know how far you'd go

I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

I will be all that you want
And get myself together
'cus you keep me from falling apart
All my life
I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe 'cus you're here with me

And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
'cus I will never let you go


I will be all that you want
And get myself together
'cus you keep me from falling apart
All my life
I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

'cus without you I can't sleep
I'm not gonna ever ever let you leave
You're all I've got
You're all I want
Yeah
And without you
I don't know what I'd do
I could never ever live a day without you
Here with me do ya see
You're all I need

And I will be all that you want
And get myself together
'cus you keep me from falling apart
All my life (my life)
I'll be with you forever (forever)
To get you through the day
And make everything okay (okay)
I will be all that you want (I'll be)
And get myself together (get myself together)
'cus you keep me from falling apart
And all my life
You know I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

This is how i feel now hubby. I cried when i listen to this song this afternoon n when i sang it just now. The thing is that's when i'm doin recording, so can hear me cryin inside. :p silly me isn't it? hehe..love u my hubby~ muacks3
I'm really curious what present you gonna gimme tomolo lar..haha..make me cannot sleep later. Tomorrow i'm having a photoshot tho as i told u b4 but for my assignment i still have to find my male models..arggg. It's so difficult to find one guy with a average body like u, hubby.Hugg.
And~.. i wish i could meet you during gawai when u come back later but at the same time i do not want to force you or demand for it but that's one of my wish for now. I'll pray hard everynite before i sleep,dear. hehe.

My Birthday Moment

Im so touched that my hubby called me up just now and sing birthday song to me..
I feel so sweet, so touch till i always cry thought i had watery eyes..hahaha..
love u hubby. You're the best. Wanna hugg u kiss u all way round haha..:p
It've been quite sometimes when we had such a long talk. I really enjoy the whole conversation but not the fact that i got bitten by damn lots of mosquito outside, away from my friend, hahaha.
Hubby, Bb wanna sleep now..it's 16th march 1.40am d. I'm so tired hubby. Miss you so much and haha quite funny thinking about how you wanna celebrate your birthday, Valentine's Day and my birthday together next time with 3 cakes all by ourself, hahaha. It's quite funny too when my friends making fun of my big tummy,hehe. That time i was thinking about the Jim Looner tho. Hehe..love u..Good nite hubby,ur precious baby wanna go to sleep now so take care ok?..huggz

LOVE YOU HUBBY-LOVE YOU HUBBY-LOVE YOU HUBBY

Early 15th March..

I cant sleep well last nite,hubby.
I was really curious what "thing" u might wanna gimme..sigh..
You bad bad lar~ make me so tired now since i didn't sleep well last nite....
I just got up as usual too around 11 something thinking of you..hahaha
Suddenly u makes me horny thinking of u noti-ing me..hahaha :p
I know im turning into more n more hornier nowadays..haha
but because of u le..so u should appreciate it..hahaha,muacks
Im gonna wash my face n eat my breaklunch (breakfast + lunch) now.

Miss u, Hubby~...

BIRTHDAY TO ME N HUBBY~

It's my Birthday!!..
Happy Birthday to Myself..
hahaha silly me..
Anyway..this year is quite a different birthday i had,
Wad i mean is that im attach now with my hubby and we love each other
muackz,HUbby..love u..
Thz for the calling me and wishing me just now thought hehe..
BUT
Don't blame urself for not able to accompany me during my birthday since obviously you are not here in kuch,sigh..my 1st birthday having a bf but you are not with me..quite memorable..
Anyway~ im kinda curious wad u wanna gimme since u say u wanna gimme something just now..hahaha.. :p
Love u hubby..Hopefully you can celebrate with me next year..muackz..
HUbby~sorry for not talking something when either of us called cuz most of the time when i heard ur voice, you just makes me feel..well,safe..ahaha
i know it sounds weird but..i just enjoy your voice
I feel like wanna hugg u n kiss u b4 i sleep haha..noti me~
muackz..
N
Im nervous too when i heard we MIGHT meet during Gawai time when u come back to kuching..
I know you're not confirm yet wheater if we're going to meet that time..
but i just think that i need to prepare in case we meet later..hahaha
so nervous..wanna give good inpression to u la..muackkz..
Hugg me tight2 ok?muackz..
N sorry that currently i can't make Jim Looner out yet..
due to some technical problem..

Unknown Attack

Last night my hubby was mentally attack by a fren of mine who i didn't realize that he is such protective of me. Nways, He attacked my hubby saying stuffs like he doesn't deserve having me, he's a slut n stuffs. That's a really mean stuff to do. I'm not sure why he attacked him, but i'm guessing that he's worried that i might get cheated of what.Thanks for being such a good friend but i mean IF he were to cheat me then i just to have to accept it and learn from it rite? but so far i'm still loving my hubby and i believe he loves me deep in his heart too. So after awhile my hubby kinda calm down a bit already then decided to sleep, so he greet me good night and called him and greet him too. After around 30 mins, my hubby sms again, he said he can't sleep. He jus can't stop thinking of why there is such people who hated him so much and hated him being my boyfriend yet that person doesn't really know him yet and he finally broke down when i call him. That's the 1st i heard him cry i guess. I'm sad too hearing him cry but in the other way i was thinking how cute and adorable he is when he is crying. So i try to comfort him for a while then we went back to sleep. At least i know i'm tired and fallen asleep soon after i hang up the phone. But i think he's really hurt.
Hubby, bb love you ok? don't be sad anymore. Just ignore what he said to you, he's probably worried that i might got cheated and stuff and i know he have to bare the responsibility for saying mean words to u. Huggs, love u hubby...

The Valentine's present . Finally

I'm really happy today. I called my hubby last night to check on his health because he's sick last few days due to the overwork n body heat. Im really worried about him but last night i called him, i can tell he's feeling a lot better now juz some cough but he's really a bad bad boi cause he doesn't want to take medicine eventhough it's just some cough no matter how many time i persuade him,sigh. He called his parents last few days too i guess and kena bomb by both daddy and mummy,haha, and he still doesn't want to take those medicine. We talk a lil' last nite and then Mic said "B~ thz,thankz for the present. I really like it. muacks". I felt so sweet which soon leads me to sleep like a lil' bear,haha. I bet you guys might wonder what is that present my hubby is talkin' about,rite? It's actually a slideshow of me n him that i did for him as Valentine's day present but he's busy, sick and stuffs so he didn't manage to fetch it till now. I won't show it to you guys for now,haha.
I guess i'm not doing anything special today. Just waiting for my youtubes to load. I want to go out though to look for magazines. Not just any magazine though, i want to get Men's Uno sg version and Men's Folio sg version but sadly it's rather hard to find it in here,sigh. Hopefully i can get it before it's sold out. I really want to get it cause hubby did some modelling work for them so im very excited to his pictures,hehe. Muacks~